


Learning From the Master: How to Woo, Canoodle, and Just Generally Bamboozle the Heck Out of Your Crush

by ablondeweasley



Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Canon Autistic Character, Fluff, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-07 02:11:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11049123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ablondeweasley/pseuds/ablondeweasley
Summary: Ty portals to the New York Institute for help with his problem, which, after careful analyzation and research, he has determined to be a so called “crush” on none other than Kit Rook, a.k.a. Christopher Herondale. Ty knows that he wants to “pursue a relationship” with Kit, as one of the books he’d read described it, but he has no idea how, so he plans to study the biggest, most confident, and most successful flirt he knows-Jace Herondale.





	1. The Problem

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really, really proud of Cassie and happy with all of the diversity that's reflected in Lord of Shadows, and I (obviously) ship Kitty really hard! (And, wow, isn't their ship name just the cutest?) I really wanted to write a fic about them, and I tried my best to humanize and accurately portray Ty's autism. I did a bit of research (the sad thing is I seem to do more research for fanfic than school projects, wth?), but if there's something wrong or you don't like how I did something in the fic and have a better idea, please let me know!!!! I just want to spread the love, happiness, and rainbows that is Kitty, and the last thing I want to do is offend someone!!! So please, feel free to hmu if there's something that you feel should be changed! (Also, just a fun little tidbit-the chapters are named after chapters in various Sherlock Holmes books ;P)

Ty dusted himself off, nearly groaning aloud at the pain in his elbow.  
He looked around the attic of the New York institute carefully, eyeing the large pile of cardboard boxes stacked precariously in the left corner, the way the roof sagged and was a shade darker in the corners from leakage, and the fine layer of gray dust that lay over everything, and that, now disturbed by his sudden appearance, was softly falling to the wooden floorboards like snow.  
But it was too gray too be snow, and besides, it was far, far too hot up in the attic.  
As a small bead of sweat dripped between Ty’s shoulder blades, and he glanced around for signs of mice or rats or any other type of animal, because Jace and Clary would probably want to be notified about that, he realized that this had probably not been a very good idea.  
Or at least, Livvy wouldn’t think it was a good idea.  
“This” being portaging to the New York Institute unannounced without telling anyone he was leaving or where he was going. It was with good reason, though, that Ty sat crouching in the too-hot attic. You see, Ty had a problem. After careful analyzation and research, he had determined that the symptoms he was experiencing were due to a so called “crush.”

Ty had never experienced a crush before, and before all of his research, all he had known was that something like nausea began to roll around in his stomach, and his chest would feel too tight, like his lungs ended right below his collarbone, whenever he thought of or was around Kit. His hands and back would sweat too, like they were now (though it was due to the heat now), and his heart would begin to beat as rapidly and with the force of a small fireworks show.(And Ty hated fireworks-the colors were far too bright, and each one was a surprise, leaving Ty near-trebling with the not-knowing of when they would go off. Not to mention the fact that the noise seemed to fill his head like broken glass.)

He had been confused, and still was-for Ty had no idea how to deal with these symptoms he was suffering. He knew there was a near-magnetic pull, a wanting-he wanted Kit, with his proud cheekbones and burning blue eyes, hair like spun gold and hands so soft save for his sandpaper calluses. Kit was kind, and open-he said what he meant, and if something confused Ty, he explained it just as well and as simply as Livvy or Julian did. Kit played by Ty’s rules. Kit was easy for him to read, or easier, and when Ty looked into those eye, when he had been pressed up against his chest tightly, grounding him, he felt safe.  
Ty knew that he wanted to “pursue a relationship” with Kit, as one of the books he’d read described it, but he had no idea how.

Flirting didn’t make sense to him. It seemed like a waste of time-If you think about it logically, you say things you wouldn’t normally say, so it was harder. There was a whole other set of things Ty would have to deal with. 

Ty also didn’t know how he would date. According to the books he had read, it was common to go to restaurants or bars on a first date, but those kinds of places made Ty uncomfortable and distracted, with all of the lights and the loud music, and Ty would find it hard to concentrate on eating, much less another person. He also didn’t want to scare Kit away. He had a tendency to stare, which Livvy said could seem predatory and scare a person, and sometimes he couldn’t contain his smile (Livvy said a big smile could also be frightening, so he had to try to make it smaller.)

And that was why he was here. He needed to “learn from the master.” He planned to study the biggest, most confident, and most successful flirt he knew-Jace Herondale.


	2. What (Tiberius Blackthorn) Had to Tell

Ty snuck down the stairs carefully, adjusting his pack and his weapons on the way down.  
He had packed provisions for a couple nights, as well as his trusty set of notebooks, pens, and pencils, and the Sherlock Holmes novel Evelyn had gifted him from the library at the London Institute.  
He was ready.  
After applying two Soundless runes, one Agility, and one Strength, he snuck out from behind the attic door and cocked his head, listening carefully for where the New York   
Institute inhabitants might be.  
He had only been to the New York Institute a couple of times, but he knew the general layout of it-where the training room was, where the dining room was, as well as the library, and how the bedrooms were on a separate floor. It wasn’t as modern as the LA Institute, but it was much nicer than the London one-everything was fresh and clean, and well maintained. The church’s sparkling stained glass windows were just that-sparkling, and everything was dust free and smelling faintly of lysol or detergent.  
Luckily, no one was in the kitchen or dining hall when he entered them, and he crept around the shadows. As he got closer to the training room, he could her noises coming from the inside.  
“Nice, Clary!” A voice called out, accompanied by a loud thunk. That was Jace. So both he and Clary were inside, doing something that involved…throwing knives, perhaps? Ty grinned to himself, pulling out his notebook. He crept closer to the keyhole and peered inside.  
Clary and Jace were inside, hurtling knife after knife at the target. They seemed to be involved in some sort of contest that was, though very competitive, full of complimenting the other’s work. The competition seemed to be being judged by none other than Isabelle Lightwood, who was rolling her eyes and throwing as many (friendly?) insults as her friends were knives, all the while furiously beating up a punching bag.  
(Clary aimed and her knife hit the target with a muffled “thunk!”) “Good job, babe.”  
(Jace threw) “Nice, Jace.”  
(Clary threw) “Ooh, harder!”  
(Isabelle gave the punching bag a spinning kick, nearly knocking it down) “By the Angel, you sound so kinky over there!”  
Ty already knew about “pet names” like the kind Jace had just used for Clary, but he also knew that those really weren’t supposed to be used until one was in an established relationship. But “kinky”-the way Isabelle had used it had made it seem vulgar? Perhaps…sexual?  
Ty jotted that down to research later, his pencil scratching softly on the notepad, when-  
“Holy fucking cow!” Ty curled in on himself at the sudden noise, reaching for the ever present headphones around his neck at the loud outburst. Damn it. He’d been discovered, and so soon into his plan!  
Simon Lewis, Clary’s infamous Mundane-turned-Vampire-turned-Shadowhunter Parabatai, had come around the corner, dressed in Shadowhunter training gear and with a towel around his neck. Ty was unfamiliar with the way Simon had swore. It was probably mundane.  
“Who are you? What are you doing here?”  
Ty sighed. “I’m Tiberius Blackthorn, of the L.A., well, know London, Institute. I’m here to observe Jace Herondale.”  
Simon relaxed at that, sinking back on his heels, but he looked as confused as ever. “So you’re one of Julian’s brothers?” Ty nodded, and Simon continued, “And you’re… observing Jace? What’s there to observe?”And then Ty’s luck took a turn for the worst. Caught up in the surprise of Simon, he had forgotten to listen to the sounds of the training room, which had stopped.  
“Probably my extraordinary good looks and charming personality. I think you mean, ‘what’s not there to observe?’”Jace Herondale now stood in front of him, his back to the door, and sweat glistening on his skin. Isabelle stood next to him, a hand on a cocked hip, and Clary was on the other side, her brow wrinkled and a knife still in her hand. Her small size and friendly face, plus her kind-looking freckles, made her look far less intimidating then Isabelle did, even without the knife.Ty turned to the older shadow hunters and stood up as Simon, Isabelle and Clary rolled their eyes at Jace’s quip, and Clary took a step closer.  
“Why are you here, Ty? Is something wrong? Is the rest of your family okay? Julian? Emma? Mark?”  
“My family is fine. I’m here on my own, and for my own personal reasons.”  
Clary’s brow furrowed even further. “Is this something to do with the lost Herondale? Christopher?”  
Ty couldn’t help but flush at that, scratching at the back of his neck in the way he had picked up from Julian. “In a way.”  
Isabelle smirked, “My, my, you look just as embarrassed and lovesick as Jace did when he met Clary! Or when Alec met Magnus! Or when-“  
“-You met Simon.” Jace threw right back at her, with the same smirk. He must have picked it up from her growing up with the Lightwoods. Or maybe she picked it up from him?  
Clary grinned, and turned to Ty, “Is that really what this is about?”  
Ty looked down. (He never looked people in the eye; it was extremely stressful as he was further distracted and unable to focus on the conversation because of it, so he normally focused on someone’s mouth, or chin, or, when embarrassed, like now, their shoes. You could tell a lot about people from their shoes. Clary’s were training sneakers, scuffed and pink Nikes. The laces were double-knotted and frayed, and the tip of one of them was splattered with paint.)  
“Yes.” He said simply. “I don’t really understand how to…deal with my feelings or make them known to him. And flirting, and everything-it’s all so confusing. I know people say words they did not mean, and their conversations seemed to follow all kinds of rules – and Livvy or Julian sometimes explain them to me. But flirting breaks those rules a lot, and it seems…pointless…and people talk in other ways, too, ways that had nothing to do with the things coming out of their mouths.”  
“So, basically, you want to learn how to woo this guy Christopher, who’s somehow amazingly related to Jace, and you want Jace’s help.” Isabelle summed up, smacking on some gum Ty didn’t notice she’d had.Ty nodded again, focusing on her ruby-red lips, which then broke into a grin. “Oh, Tiberius. You don’t need Jace! You need me!”  
Jace pushed her aside, “No, I believe he came here seeking me, and all of my devilish charms.”  
Clary smiled and rolled her eyes again, leaning conspiratorially but not uncomfortably forward to Ty, “you’ve just inflated his ego even larger. It’s probably about the size of a hot air balloon now.” Ty frowned a little at that, but he got the gist.  
Jace turned to Ty, grinning eagerly, and Ty watched a bead of sweat drip into the hollow of Jace’s collarbone. “Are you ready, young Padawan?”Jace knew Star Wars! And he was going to help him, and Ty didn't have to sneak around (although a small part of him fell at not getting the chance to practice his detective skills.)  
“Yes.”


	3. The Science of (Seduction)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, ya'll, I have like zero relationship experience. My experiences with flirting have ended sadly and awkwardly. (Once, this boy asked me what my number was and I thought he was talking about my basketball number, so I said "43" and gave him awkward finger guns. Another time, a boy asked me "on a scale of one to ten, if I were to see you at the beach, like, during the summer, how great would the chance of me getting your number be?" I told him, quickly and loudly, that I don't go to the beach, and then ran away.) Soooooo... that being said, all of my flirting advice that Jace gives (*cringes*) is from wikiHow. Sorry, guys. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ Again, if you have any tips or advice, feel free to hmu!

“Let’s start with the basics.” Jace rubbed his hands together eagerly, and Ty had his pencil poised over a fresh page in his notebook, ready to take notes. “You first have to remember to be confident.” He gave Ty a wink, “and you, like me, are luckily roguishly handsome, so you have all the reason to be confident.” Ty wrote down, “be confident.”  
Jace began to pace, which was distracting for Ty, and he began to fidget. Clary noticed from where she was seated in the corner, rolling her eyes (everyone tended to do that a lot around Jace), and she tapped Jace’s shoulder. He stopped instantly, and Ty was filled with instant relief and gratitude.  
“You want to keep the conversation light. Laugh, joke. And keep flashing that handsome smile.”  
“What should I joke about?”  
Jace narrowed his eyes in thought. “Hmm…you could always use a joking pickup-line.”  
“What’s a pickup line?”  
Jace stroked his chin thoughtfully the way Sherlock would have smoked his pipe. “It’s a one-liner that expresses the fact that you’re into someone.” Ty found those unnecessary. Why didn’t someone just say, “I like you a lot?” But he wrote it down. “Here, I’ll tell you some of my best.” Jace said, as if he was sharing a secret. “I guess I don’t need them anymore now that I’m a taken man. You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket? Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass. Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material. Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile. Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you-“  
“Those are all exceptionally terrible, Jace.” Clary interrupted, “I’m starting to consider dumping you.” She turned to Ty, who was scribbling all of them down intently. “You might now want to write those down, Ty. They just don’t seem like…you. Or something Kit would fall for.”  
Ty didn’t like the way she’d said that last part. It made it seem like he was deceiving Kit, and he didn’t want to do that. But he kept the pickup lines, because he wanted to try everything.  
Jace just shrugged, “To tell you the truth, I didn’t really need pickup lines. Not with all of this.” He grinned, gesturing to himself. Clary punched him in the shoulder, lightly. “Hmmm… what’s next?” Jace continued, “You want to use open, interested body language.”  
Uh-oh. Ty didn’t like body language. He had a hard time understanding the way people’s bodies went all over the place, and nothing meant anything from one person to the next.   
“What does that entail?”  
“Well, keep smiling, and don’t have your arms crossed. Try to look them in the eye-“ Clary nudged him again at that, and he amended his last statement, “-or not. Just look…inviting. If he seems interested in everything that you’re doing, then be honest. Tell him how you feel.”  
Ty could do that; he had trouble lying. Julian said that sometimes he was honest and open to the point of being blunt.  
Ty nodded. “Then what?”  
“Then it depends on what he says,” Clary jumped in, placing a hand tenderly on Jace’s shoulder, “if he confesses too, then you can ask him out on a date. If he…doesn’t seem to feel he same, then back off. Give him some space.”  
Ty wrote all of that down. “What should I do for a date?”  
Clary laced her fingers with Jace’s absentmindedly, and Jace looked down at her fondly as she considered Ty’s question. “Go somewhere and do something that you both like. I know you don’t like lots of people, so go somewhere where you two can be alone and easily do something you enjoy. What’s something that you like to do, or that he likes to do?” Ty had to think about that one. What did he like? He liked libraries, he liked nature and animals, he liked reading, he liked his family, he liked music…But what did Kit like?  
“I-I’m not really sure what he likes. He goes on detective missions with me and Livvy, and he liked to walk along the beach when we were back at home, but other than that…”  
Clary nodded, “Maybe you two could go on a walk at the beach, or a hike? Or maybe go someplace cool like an aquarium or a museum, on a day that’s not too crowded. No, that might be a bit too much. Just take him to a place that you like to go that you think he’d be interested in.”Ty nodded worriedly. The beach sounded good. He didn’t know about everything else… “Then you’ll have to take it from there. That’s all we can really help you with; just remember to stay confident, honest, and know when to back off.” Ty mumbled an agreement, and looked down at all of his notes.  
“Clary, get Isabelle. It’s time for some practice!” Jace said, rubbing his hands together somewhat evilly.


	4. (Tiberius Blackthorn) Shows What He Can Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, knock, knock.  
> You: Who's there?  
> Me: Britney Spears  
> You: Britney Spears who?  
> Me: Knock, knock  
> You: (far more hesitantly)...Who's there?  
> Me: Britney Spears  
> You: (Sigh) Britney Spears who?  
> Me: Oops, I did it again. ;)

“Why am I here?” Simon Lewis was perched awkwardly on the edge of a wooden chair in front of Ty. Ty had his notebook clutched to his chest, and he looked to Jace, wondering the same thing.  
“You’re the most like Kit out of all of us,” Jace told him, “Now, pretend to be my long-lost relative so Ty can try to flirt with you.”  
“What?” Simon blurted, his face turning an alarming shade of red, “Wouldn’t you be the most like Kit? From what I’ve heard, he’s the spitting image of you!”  
Jace waved his hand distractedly, “No, no, I’m far too intimidating. Looking this good should be considered a crime! Go on, Ty.” Jace leaned in towards Simon and waggled his eyebrows, “and remember, tell us if you feel wooed!” Ty’s face was red too, but he looked at his notebook and tried to pretend that Simon was Kit.  
“Kit,” he said, rather monotonously, “Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.”  
Simon’s face turned even redder, and he squirmed in his seat. Clary looked as if she were turning blue, and Isabelle burst out laughing,   
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she said between gasps and peals of bell like laughter, “It’s just, you said that with such a straight face, and that one…out of all of them!”  
Jace waggled his eyebrows at Simon, “feeling wooed yet, Lewis?”  
“Not particularly, no,” Simon said, his voice strangled.  
“Try again, Ty,” Jace said earnestly.   
“Si-Kit,” He said, trying to put more emotion into it, “Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.”  
Isabelle gave a little giggle, and everyone glared at her, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! It’s just like Clary said before, Ty. These don’t seem like you at all. Try something that you feel you would say, unscripted.”  
Ty bit his lip at that, but was then struck with an idea, “Would you like to be the Watson to my Sherlock, Kit, except romantically involved?”  
Everyone cringed at that, but Clary covered her’s with a polite smile, “Maybe we should try a different route. Just…tell him how you feel, straight up.” She said kindly.  
Ty cleared his throat, “Kit, I like you a lot, and I hope you like me too. Maybe we could go out on a date together, sometime?”  
Isabelle nodded, “I think that might be a better alternative. But you maybe don’t want to dive straight into that. Like Jace said before, maybe…spice it up a bit, make him feel comfortable, before you pop the question.”  
“How will adding spice make it better? And how do I even add spice; this is a verbal conversation?” Ty asked, confused.  
“Crack a joke or two,” Isabelle said, “Smile a bit.”  
Ty could do that. He tried to smile, and told the only joke he could think of, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”  
“No. No. Choose a better joke, Ty.” Jace said, regretfully.   
Ty grimaced, and then remembered one Tavvy had told him a while ago, “What did the buffalo says to his son when he left for college?”  
Simon bit his lip, “I…don’t know.” He said hesitantly.  
“Bison.” Ty told him, grinning wider.  
“By the Angel,” Jace said, burying his face in his hands while Isabelle let out another tinkling laugh.  
“Umm, Ty,” Clary said gently, “I think that this might not work. Jace and Isabelle are very, very different from you, and their crushes were very different from Kit. And we don’t even know Kit that well; you do. I think you should go with whatever you feel is right, not necessarily flirting the Jace way, or the Isabelle way, or my way. Because if Kit does like you back, which I don’t know how he couldn’t, then he likes you for you, and you won’t need to be like Jace, or Iz, or me. Does that sound okay?”  
Ty took a deep breath, counting to ten in his head before letting it go. Now that he thought about it, Clary was right. He should just do what he did normally, because if Kit did like him, then he would like the normal Ty.  
It was time to get back to the London Institute. He hoped no one was looking for him.


End file.
